What Happens Next
by mandolin28
Summary: A one shot of what I think could have happened after Rachel walked off that stage in 4X04. Written to make us all feel a little better! ;)


**I wrote this to make myself feel better after watching Rachel walk away from Finn. I want them to grow as individuals and I support them being apart to do it (even if it breaks my heart and wastes Cory and Lea's chemistry) but I wanted there to be more confirmation of love. So, I decided to share it with you guys! Let me know what you think!**

Finn walked heavily across the dark parking lot with his head hanging low. He thought he should have cried. Like, really cried. But, he just couldn't. Probably because if he let himself cry that would mean it was real and he just wasn't ready to admit that yet. He wanted to pretend just a little longer. And, right now, he just wanted to go home, take a long hot shower, lay in his bed and stare at the ceiling. He would have preferred sleep, but he wasn't going to kid himself. There would be no sleeping tonight. She was gone. _We're done._ Two little words that had wrecked him to his very core. Four months he had spent fantasizing about her. What she was doing, what would happen when they saw each other again. He sure as hell hadn't pictured her kissing another dude. Nor what had just gone down on that stage. He felt as though he was like the moon; surrounded by all these stars, but destined to be the only one like him in the night sky. No dream. No purpose. No Rachel. He kicked at a rock that was in his path watching it skitter across the pavement, stopping when hit his tire and bounced off. He climbed in the driver's seat and he entertained the thought of just driving. No destination. Just driving. Because, right now, this car was the only thing he felt he had any control over and the very depth of him wanted to hold onto any feeling of being in control. If only he'd called her. Or answered her calls. Or text messages. If only he'd just stayed in that bed with her until she woke up. Then, maybe things would be different. But, instead, he had only added to the string of bad decisions he had been making since May. Except one. This past week had only further validated his actions on what was supposed to be their wedding day. She was meant to be in New York City. Of that he was certain. That, and the fact that Rachel loved him. He saw it in her watery eyes and heard it in the crack of her voice. _… and I want you to be my last._ Well, at least there was that. For now. But, how long until that feeling faded along with her memories of him and he just became someone she used to know. Someone she smiled sadly at during their ten year reunion as she came in on the arm of Mr. Broadway. Someone who would watch her accept her Tony award from his couch instead of the seat next to her where he belonged. Someone who would adore her in silence until he was an old man with nothing to show for his life but greasy fingers and a hole in his heart. As he pulled into his driveway he felt sick to his stomach. He thought of the conversation they had just before graduation. She was adjusting her cap and he had walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her cheek. She turned to look at him, so happy, so full of hope.

"_Just think, Finn! I will walk across that stage today as Rachel Berry and I will crawl in bed next to you tomorrow night as Rachel Hudson." She squealed and threw her arms around his neck. _

_He chuckled at her unbridled enthusiasm. "I thought it was Hudson-Berry?"_

"_Well, I was thinking about it and I think that's just too much of a mouthful. Besides, Rachel Hudson is a great stage name and it won't confuse our kids later in life." She shrugged as if it all made perfect sense to her._

"_I don't know what to say, Rach. I mean, I'm honored. And, the thought of us having the same last name is doing all kinds of things to my heart right now. But, I'm kinda surprised at how sad it makes me to think that I won't have Rachel Berry anymore. It's so who you are. It's who I fell in love with."_

"_And, when it comes to you, that's who I'll always be. Rachel Berry Loves Finn Hudson forever. But, Rachel Hudson __**belongs**__ to Finn Hudson forever." Her smile was blindingly bright. And he had no other recourse but to kiss her. And kiss her good._

"_I love you, Rachel," he whispered against her mouth._

"_I love you, too. Always," she whispered back, rising up on her toes for more._

He let his head fall back against the car seat. How did they get from there to here? With a heavy sigh, he got out of the car. He stumbled on the bottom porch step before the motion light could respond. He quietly cursed as he caught his balance and fumbled with his keys at the door. Burt and Carole had been so happy to see him come home , but so sad that they had to be in DC his first week back. He hadn't mentioned the New York disaster, knowing his Mom wouldn't leave if she knew how badly he was hurting. Besides, he needed to be alone to try to sort through all of this. He flipped on the living room light and nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw the figure of someone on the couch out of the corner of his eye. He quickly registered who it was and his heart began to race even faster. Rachel. She was staring at the floor in front of the fire place, her mind no doubt traveling to a happier time in their story. Finn swallowed hard, his eyes wandering the room as he took slow small steps toward her. He cleared his throat.

"Rach?"

No answer.

"Um, what're you doing here?"

She looked up at him for the first time, eyes red and swollen, still speechless.

"Not that- not that I'm, like, unhappy about it, or anything, it's just th-"

"I couldn't do it, Finn," she interrupted quickly.

"Couldn't do what?" He set his keys on the side table next to the couch and hesitantly sat down beside her, keeping a reasonable distance.

"I couldn't just leave you alone like that."

"Like I did you? Is that what you're saying?" he said, guilt ridden.

"No. Believe it or not, as mad as I was, I think I may be starting to get it. You are really messed up. You wouldn't have left like that or ignored me if you weren't. And, I'm not going to just walk away from you."

"Why not? I don't really blame you. You should walk away before you catch loser."

She threw up her hands and stood, stalking angrily across the room. "Do you think so little of me that you think I would give my heart to a loser? That I would agree to spend the rest of my life with a loser? Because that's exactly what you are accusing me of. Don't you see? Whether or not someone is a loser is determined by who they are. Not what they do. I don't know how else to make you see what I see, Finn. I think if I could beat it into you right now I would. You know? I thought I had said all I needed to say on that stage tonight. But, as I was driving home, I realized that those were the words of your girlfriend. Not your best friend. And I pride myself on being both. So, as your best friend, I came back. Because best friends don't just say 'we're done' and walk away. So, you know what? No, you don't know what you want to do with your life. That's true. And, maybe you feel like crap about it. But, that's all about something you do. But, who you are is no loser, Finn Hudson."

Finn sat, staring at the wall to his left, unable to make eye contact with her as she let him have it with both barrels. He stole quick glances, but, for the most part sat like a puppy being scolded for chewing on her favorite shoe. And it didn't seem as if she would be stopping any time soon. As she talked, she made her way over to him.

"You are the boy who saved a glee club and brought it to glory. The boy who never wavered in his loyalty and his dedication when he found out his girlfriend was pregnant. The boy who wore a red plastic dress to stand up for his brother. The boy who helped his wheelchair bound friend find a place on the football team. The boy who saw an invisible girl and made her believe she was worthy of love. The boy who lifted that girl up, supported that girl unfailingly. The boy who held that girl as she cried. The boy who put that girl on a train bound for her dreams, despite the pain it caused him." She sat close to him and took his hand in hers. "Look at me, Finn," she said almost inaudibly.

The eyes that met hers were overflowing with tears and she could see his breath coming in a heavy rise and fall. She reached up to wipe one away and his eyes closed tightly, pushing out four more. He opened them to look at her intently as she continued speaking.

"I told you earlier tonight that you have you. And that is true. And I stand by that being the best person on the planet. Because you are. But, you have me, too, just in a different way, and I want you to know that. I can't find your dream for you. And I can't keep willing you to want mine. And I can't keep trying to make you believe something that you are obviously going to have to find out on your own. It's not good for either of us. I'm having to work to hard at school and I am finding so much out about myself. But, one thing that will never change is how I feel about you. I'm on your side, Ok? I'll be there for you. I will let you talk and I will support you in any way I can. But, neither of us needs to be concentrating on making this work right now. We need to concentrate on becoming whoever it is that we are going to be so that we can take on the world. Together."

Finn exhaled for what he thought might be the first time since she sat down. His heart swelled and he suddenly felt something he hadn't in months. Hope. He nodded, viewing her face through a film of tears. "Thank you," he whispered, bringing his forehead down to rest on hers. She closed her eyes and nodded against it.

She caught his eyes with her own without moving her head. "And, Finn, about Brody... Whatever that was was over the second I saw you. I told you once you're the only guy for me and I meant it. I'm not saying goodbye to you so that I can just be with someone else. I hope you know that. This is about so much more than that."

Finn kissed her forehead and backed his body away from her a bit. Silence filled the air as neither quite knew what to say.

"I'm gonna miss you, Rach," he finally said sadly, laying back on the couch.

"I'll miss you, too," she said, following him to rest her head on his shoulder. They lay there, the only sounds being those of their breathing.

She broke the silence. "Know what I was thinking about earlier?"

"Hmm?"

"That night. Right there by the fire. I'll always be so happy it was you. You were so wonderful."

He laughed lightly. "I was awkward and clumsy and waaaay too quick."

He felt her fingers find his own, interlacing them, holding his hand tightly.

"You were sweet. And gentle. And loving. I remember this moment. This one moment you probably don't remember. You were above me and it was just before you... you know... and you looked into my eyes. You were sweating and about to lose control but you looked scared, but it was scared for me not you. And you said, No o-"

"No one has ever loved anyone more than I love you right at this moment. Thank you for letting it be me." He finished her thought.

"You remembered."

"Of course I did. I was the most special moment of my life."

Without saying a word, Rachel got off of the couch and walked away. Finn sat up, confused as he watched her walk away. When she came back, she held in her arms two blankets and two pillows. He watched as she spread the blankets onto the floor in front of the fire place. She carefully placed the two pillows on top of them.

Finn thought his heart would beat out of his chest when she walked over to him and held out her hand. He looked at her with his brow furrowed in confusion, but took it anyway. "Rachel, what are you-"

"Shhh," she said. "We've said all we need to say. I am going back to New York tomorrow," she began playing with the hem of his black t shirt. "And you're going to stay here." Her fingers found their way underneath the black cotton fabric to stoke the skin of his stomach. She felt his muscles constrict and looked up to see his jaw clenched and his eyes clenched tightly together. "Open your eyes, Finn," she purred. He obeyed and the heat in their stare was made combustible by the feelings of love and uncertainty about their future.

"Rachel," his voice cracked, "I don't-"

"I want to feel you around me. One more time. Who knows when we will get to be like this again? I need you to feel what I feel when I'm with you." Her hands moved upward, taking his shirt with them and up over his head. She began placing soft kisses on his chest, making a trail across his belly. "No matter what happens, Finn, I love you. With all of my heart and my soul... and my body." Her last word was lost when he wasn't able to hold back any more and he took her mouth in his with a sharp inhale. He lifted her for better access as their tongues tasted and stroked, desperately trying to savor this moment of goodbye. "I'm yours for tonight. What are you going to do with me?" she asked as she pulled back for oxygen.

Finn made short work of Rachel's clothes as he guided her onto the floor as she relinquished all control to him. When he heard the last click of her heel before the closing of the door earlier tonight, he never imagined they might find themselves here. Like this. But, he wasn't going to dwell on the why or the how. If this was their goodbye for now, he was going to make it one to remember. He brought his mouth down to hers, sucking lightly on her lower lip. He felt her tongue slip in to press against his own and couldn't help the low moan that escaped him. His hands roamed her naked body, his face buried in her neck. After several long minutes of memorizing looks and bodies and sounds, neither could take it anymore.

"Finn," she whined.

He looked deep into her now black eyes and brushed some hair off of her forehead.

"No one has ever loved anyone more than I love you right at this moment," she said.

"Thank you for letting it be me," he answered before burying himself inside her warmth. A groan fell from his throat and a moan came from hers.

After they both fell apart, they lay there together, completely spent. They drifted off to sleep, cuddling for the first time since he got back. And though he knew she'd be gone tomorrow and he'd be left to live a life without her for awhile. He knew he could do it. Because starting from the time her plane took off, he had more reason than ever to get his crap together. And he would. The next time they did this it would be forever. And that was worth fighting for.

**Reviews would help me heal ;)**


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